Waistless

First off, let's start by saying that I was born female, but I don't identify as female.  I don't identify as male, either.  Let's just call me a 'person'.  When people say "gal" or "girl" or "lady" I don't presume they're talking to me, just as if they were saying, "Here Fido, come here, boy!"  My ears don't even perk up.

So I was reading about this latest rash of blogs for "plus sized curvy gals" who don't want to wear "tent dresses" and my blood started to boil.  A bit.  I mean if you are a plus sized curvy gal who doesn't want to wear a tent dress, so be it.  But not all plus sized people born with XX chromosomes want to cinch in the waist of their fashionable outfit, if you know what I mean.

I always had a little fantasy that I'd be on that TLC show called "What Not to Wear, and I'd tell them to treat my body as if it were a man's.  Truth be told, I'm the furthest thing from fashionable, and I could probably use a style overhaul.  But that show is NOTORIOUS for Stacey coming up behind you and cinching in the waist of whatever you are wearing to show you how FABULOUS a waist makes EVERYONE look.  Most of the time, she's right.

But the fact is, she's never done it on a man.  She's done it to women with mannish shapes, but she's never done it to a man. 

Which brings me to the inevitable question... Why?  Why do all women, regardless of shape, have to feign a waist?  What is the point of that look, and why has everyone glommed onto en masse?  I think, first off, you should wear whatever the hell you want, but if you ARE into looking better, why isn't working with what you have ever an option.

I have no waist.  None.  At one point, my measurements were 40-40-40 and that was probably several inches ago.  Why on earth I would pick an arbitrary spot along that trunk and tie a ribbon around it is beyond me.

Pants frequently fall off me, and belts don't help much.  I do wiring for a living, so I'm often bent over under someone's desk with the crack of my butt hanging out.  It's the plumber's life.  I think it's hilarious.  I should probably invest in some suspenders, that's probably the solution to my pants-falling-down problem, but I assume the boobage would get in the way.

Alas.

This blog is about being a person.  And how a person like me copes in a very gendered, body-hating and size phobic world.